Is He A Keeper?

Is he Mr. Right? Or not quite?

It's wonderful to have found a soul mate, but just because you share the same likings and interests doesn't necessarily mean you will have the same strong passion for each other. In fact, happily married couples can have very different characters. What's more important is that you have to have real affection for each other, feel comfortable, be able to share your deepest thoughts and feel safe being in a relationship with your guy.

All couples will have disagreements at times. These tiffs actually present opportunities that allow us to address the different issues that concern us. But big, ugly fights are a different story: When you both do or say things that really hurt or scare you, it takes you a long time to recover. And that's bad for the relationship.

The truth is, most guys fib about little things. And a guy like that isn't necessarily worse off than a guy who's always compelled to tell the truth. Remember those times when you put on 10 pounds and asked him if you looked fatter? Let's face it, how would you have felt if he had replied yes instead of no? There's nothing wrong with small white lies, but if he lies often enough that you don't know whether to trust him or not, (for example he led you to believe that he's out for a drink with his guy friends and you found out that he's actually drinking with two female colleagues), your relationship is on seriously shaky ground. Cut him loose.

If it's just one girlfriend who has a negative opinion about him, you're probably right not to take her appraisal too seriously. But if your friends and family are warning you against your guy, then there has to be a grain of truth somewhere. Perhaps you are too smitten by his charms to see things objectively.

You are not seeing him for who he really is unless you've shown yourself for who you really are. And it's not just letting him see you wake up in the morning, sans makeup, hair poking this way and that. We're talking about him seeing you at your craziest, bitchiest moment. If he could handle that part of you, hangs in there and stays interested, congrats, you've got yourself a keeper.

Many married couples will tell you that sex is often not so great at the beginning, because you still have so much to learn about each other. With intimacy, attentiveness to each other's needs, openness to learning and an emotional connection, your sex life will get better and better!
The past is a really great predictor of the future. Yes, sometimes people change, but more likely than not, they are tomorrow the way they were yesterday. So keep your eye out for signs of deceit: Did he cheat on his exes? Lie about his past? Come up with empty promises? Get a grip: You'd be better off without him.

When a guy genuinely loves you, it matters to him that you're happy. And it matters to him that you're sad. That's because he cares about how you feel. So what if he's not good with words? He could lend you his shoulder to cry on – not distance himself when you need him most.

Of course, nobody is perfect. Your guy will have his share of flaws. But the idea that you're going to be able to change your guy is, well, romantic but it's not gonna happen. Try as you might, some things just cannot be changed. So before you commit to him, ask youself if his quirks are seriously bugging the crap out of you. Be honest with yourself: If you can't imagine dealing with his annoying traits for the rest of your life, he's not the one. Period.

You know you've got a keeper if you love him for his amazing personality. Not his money or his looks. After all, isn't this what marriage vows are about: To love each other in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth? If you're not ready to utter these words and stick to them, then he's just not the one.

You Scored: 9/10
What your score means:
Congrats! You've found a real sweetheart whom you can trust, love and feel safe with. But you also realize that, alas, real life relationships aren't as simple as happily-ever-after fairy tales, and it takes lots of communication, trust, compromise and learning about each other to keep the love and passion going strong. Keep communicating, be encouraging and never take each other for granted. You look like you're made for each other – go for it!