Today is our first yr anni, confirmed he had clean forgotten. But well just as fine.. i had expected it. To him it is nothing. So not worth in celebrating anyway. I really had no mood for any other events. CNY... i dun wan to celebrate it anyway.. dad is oreadi not ard... mum gone for trip... the man and I had a big quarrel just last night. He simply dun understand until i have to do something very drastic so that he will remember deep down in his heart and brain. Well it's toopid of me tho but i have no regrets. My hurt and anger is all vented out.
Sometime I can be very rush and do things in a fit of moment but I had no regrets on my actions once I made up my mind and administer it. Think i really need to see a psychiatrist... I no longer can contain my own anger... if not for the counsellor last nite, i swear i would have probably killed myself and yes in a fit of anger. That's so uncalled for...
Monday, January 26, 2009
"Romantic"
When I thot almost everything was over...
Honestly i'm prepared to give it up... cos he simply dun understand the hurt he put me thru. To him, certain issues means nothing to him but to me, it means very much. I dun wan to live constantly in pain... and my well known established reput to be destroyed bcos of him.
So this is the last chance i'm giving myself and him. If he still haggle along the issue, he will be out of my life totally...... :X
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
SuPeR mIsS gRuMpY
Yes... i was one blardy grumpy missy today. Especially when it's all abt the bridemaid thingy... I only agreed to do it bcos she's my bestie. Tho I wasnt familiar wif the rest of the 3.. doesnt mean they can "suan" me until I "CTL" (it's 3 against 1, mind u...). :S Eh.. u all big size or cannot fit into wat cutting is non of my blardy business lor... The bride wan us to wear the same and yet i'm the only blardy one cannot comment on cutting and colour.. simi sai... If u all dun wan my blardy comment, then dun bother to cc me. Just let me know when u ppl have got the dress. It's soooo totally screwed up...
Secondly, I'm like service counter.. run errands as tho i'm so free... not even a word thank you come from the horse's mouth... think wat... i dun mind running errands but at least have the courtesy to say thank you mah... Thirdly, cannot find ppl call me and expect me to respond immediately... to report missing person also must wait 24 hrs leh... I wonder y ppl have mobiles yet dun wan answer.. have house phone also dun wan answer.. i really wonder y they have all these for.... and worst.. they CAN'T READ sms... bleahhh...
Secondly, I'm like service counter.. run errands as tho i'm so free... not even a word thank you come from the horse's mouth... think wat... i dun mind running errands but at least have the courtesy to say thank you mah... Thirdly, cannot find ppl call me and expect me to respond immediately... to report missing person also must wait 24 hrs leh... I wonder y ppl have mobiles yet dun wan answer.. have house phone also dun wan answer.. i really wonder y they have all these for.... and worst.. they CAN'T READ sms... bleahhh...
Monday, January 19, 2009
A Fine Day
It was the man's parents wedding anniversary and as well as the dad's bday celebration. The dad had book a table at The Chinese Restaurant @ Raffles Town Club. We also had an unofficial Lo Hei... the actual one would be held at their home on the 25th Jan evening.
Back to the lunch... i didnt take photos as most of the time, the server scooped out the food to individual portion oreadi. I lost count of how many dishes were out. The dishes that I love was the Lo Hei, steam fish and abalone. Hehehe... As usual, today was full of laughter with the kids ard. Nice food, nice ppl...
The man had to go back for work after the lunch which ended ard 3 plus. We parted at the bus stop. I went home first before meeting his parents in the evening ard 6pm for the mass. I dropped in my donation and the RCIA form. Yes I finally decided to go for it.
After mass, I had dinner wif Ce before sending her back to my sis's place. I stayed wif her for an hour before she finally relents and let me go home to rest. She was yet again crying... Since last year, every sun nite was a struggling nite to part wif her. As much as we do not want to live apart but circumstances held us apart. And it's going to be like this for the next one and a half yrs... haizzz... As i went home alone... my heart was heavy... i missed her and the man... if the man was ard, my heart would feel less achy......
Back to the lunch... i didnt take photos as most of the time, the server scooped out the food to individual portion oreadi. I lost count of how many dishes were out. The dishes that I love was the Lo Hei, steam fish and abalone. Hehehe... As usual, today was full of laughter with the kids ard. Nice food, nice ppl...
The man had to go back for work after the lunch which ended ard 3 plus. We parted at the bus stop. I went home first before meeting his parents in the evening ard 6pm for the mass. I dropped in my donation and the RCIA form. Yes I finally decided to go for it.
After mass, I had dinner wif Ce before sending her back to my sis's place. I stayed wif her for an hour before she finally relents and let me go home to rest. She was yet again crying... Since last year, every sun nite was a struggling nite to part wif her. As much as we do not want to live apart but circumstances held us apart. And it's going to be like this for the next one and a half yrs... haizzz... As i went home alone... my heart was heavy... i missed her and the man... if the man was ard, my heart would feel less achy......
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Bridesmaids preparation
Last evening after work, met up wif the 3 girlies and the bride, Karis... we park ourselves at Mama's (Clarke Quay). A night of food, drinks and discussion on the big day. The girls were all picking on my skinny frame. All wanted to break my bones... ROFL!! Cos i'm the smallest size within them and they will had problem fitting into tube dresses as suggested by the bride. I cant give any comments on that as I was told to "shut up". I can fit into any kind of dress so i had to let them make the decision on wat to wear and i just follow suit.
It was great to have the bride organize this evening and let all the bridesmaids come together, get to know each other. I oreadi knew one but not the other two. We had no problem mingling ard wif each other. We had so much "lightbulb" ideas. The bride was supposed to arrange our duties that day. Cheri was to follow the Karis ard, while I will be the back up drinker and recep. Jocelyn was supposed to be the "clown" and usher, Shireen is to be the last backup drinker and recep. Kekekek! But wont be finalised yet. Cos Cheri keep tripping on Karis when they both went to the washroom. Karis was considering changing her. She was afraid Cheri will trip on her on the actual day! Lolz!!
Hmnn we were also discussing on hens' nite... Karis was worried for her huby to be that they may nt have a bachelors' nite so in the end we actually suggested doing it together. We gonna give them a very memorable nite! Me and Shireen have to finalise a place for this private event. Out of the blue, Karis told us that her hubby was waiting for her to finish while he waited at Liang Court. OMG! We told Karis to get him over and joined us. Poor man...
We had another two rounds of drinks after that Des sent me down to BQ. I need to check out the rental for the event. But the place i find all not really suitable. Hmnn think i need to source out a better place. While looking ard, I saw Terry and frds... i joined them for a couple of drinks before I left for the night. While walking down the steps, i missed my footing.. there was a big gap in between the steps! There was no railing by the side, i had to lean on the doorway and accidently "sliced" my hand against the door hole and it ended like this...
I was practically screaming away... Thk God I didnt rolled down the stairs if nt it would have been a disaster! Sam went back in and found a plaster for me... awe... Pain pain ah.... my arm just went numb... i can still feel the pain now.. arghhhh... luckily it wasnt a very deep cut... haiz.. y i so blur de... they oreadi warned me on the steps yet i can still miss it... >.<""
It was great to have the bride organize this evening and let all the bridesmaids come together, get to know each other. I oreadi knew one but not the other two. We had no problem mingling ard wif each other. We had so much "lightbulb" ideas. The bride was supposed to arrange our duties that day. Cheri was to follow the Karis ard, while I will be the back up drinker and recep. Jocelyn was supposed to be the "clown" and usher, Shireen is to be the last backup drinker and recep. Kekekek! But wont be finalised yet. Cos Cheri keep tripping on Karis when they both went to the washroom. Karis was considering changing her. She was afraid Cheri will trip on her on the actual day! Lolz!!
Hmnn we were also discussing on hens' nite... Karis was worried for her huby to be that they may nt have a bachelors' nite so in the end we actually suggested doing it together. We gonna give them a very memorable nite! Me and Shireen have to finalise a place for this private event. Out of the blue, Karis told us that her hubby was waiting for her to finish while he waited at Liang Court. OMG! We told Karis to get him over and joined us. Poor man...
We had another two rounds of drinks after that Des sent me down to BQ. I need to check out the rental for the event. But the place i find all not really suitable. Hmnn think i need to source out a better place. While looking ard, I saw Terry and frds... i joined them for a couple of drinks before I left for the night. While walking down the steps, i missed my footing.. there was a big gap in between the steps! There was no railing by the side, i had to lean on the doorway and accidently "sliced" my hand against the door hole and it ended like this...
I was practically screaming away... Thk God I didnt rolled down the stairs if nt it would have been a disaster! Sam went back in and found a plaster for me... awe... Pain pain ah.... my arm just went numb... i can still feel the pain now.. arghhhh... luckily it wasnt a very deep cut... haiz.. y i so blur de... they oreadi warned me on the steps yet i can still miss it... >.<""
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
R/S
It's so fragile at times. I heard how two of my besties fall out of it. One talk to me. I thot still got hope but the guy tok as tho eveything all her fault. Eh when r/s failed... it's two person fault... where got one fault de. It's all so shitty. I wonder wat's wrong wif the guys... especially those who r MCP. They really cannot compromise, get flare up at the slightest issue... tok also must beat ard the bush... simi sai... dare to control dun dare to say openly...
Anything went wrong blame the charbo(s) first... ever wonder y they never blame themselves first... cos they r selfish men. Things they can do... the charbo(s) cannot do... is this as good as saying, "i can fuck ard, u cant"? Puiiiiiiiii.... it's better off without these men.
Love those who can accept your short comings, accept for who u r.. and not letting them taking control over ur life. It's ur life not theirs! If u wan them to control ur life, then u better be prepared to lose alot of things, including ur love ones.
Most importantly, u, ladies.. must be happy.
Anything went wrong blame the charbo(s) first... ever wonder y they never blame themselves first... cos they r selfish men. Things they can do... the charbo(s) cannot do... is this as good as saying, "i can fuck ard, u cant"? Puiiiiiiiii.... it's better off without these men.
Love those who can accept your short comings, accept for who u r.. and not letting them taking control over ur life. It's ur life not theirs! If u wan them to control ur life, then u better be prepared to lose alot of things, including ur love ones.
Most importantly, u, ladies.. must be happy.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Red invites!
Now Jan only.. I have two red invitations.... these two are my secondary school buddies! Must go! Hmnn got to save up and get some pretty dresses.. hehe.... the old schoolmates will also be there! Coming fri... i cant make it for Ag's bday party cos one of them has organized a hen's nite and also to discuss on the wedding issues. So long never be bridesmaid... awe... i hope i dun kena the MC.... stage fright! I prefer to do the drinking part... heheh... see wat kind of ideas we all gonna come up wif to "sabo" the groom and his fleet... muahahah! *Evil grin*
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Is He A Keeper?
Is he Mr. Right? Or not quite?
It's wonderful to have found a soul mate, but just because you share the same likings and interests doesn't necessarily mean you will have the same strong passion for each other. In fact, happily married couples can have very different characters. What's more important is that you have to have real affection for each other, feel comfortable, be able to share your deepest thoughts and feel safe being in a relationship with your guy.
All couples will have disagreements at times. These tiffs actually present opportunities that allow us to address the different issues that concern us. But big, ugly fights are a different story: When you both do or say things that really hurt or scare you, it takes you a long time to recover. And that's bad for the relationship.
The truth is, most guys fib about little things. And a guy like that isn't necessarily worse off than a guy who's always compelled to tell the truth. Remember those times when you put on 10 pounds and asked him if you looked fatter? Let's face it, how would you have felt if he had replied yes instead of no? There's nothing wrong with small white lies, but if he lies often enough that you don't know whether to trust him or not, (for example he led you to believe that he's out for a drink with his guy friends and you found out that he's actually drinking with two female colleagues), your relationship is on seriously shaky ground. Cut him loose.
If it's just one girlfriend who has a negative opinion about him, you're probably right not to take her appraisal too seriously. But if your friends and family are warning you against your guy, then there has to be a grain of truth somewhere. Perhaps you are too smitten by his charms to see things objectively.
You are not seeing him for who he really is unless you've shown yourself for who you really are. And it's not just letting him see you wake up in the morning, sans makeup, hair poking this way and that. We're talking about him seeing you at your craziest, bitchiest moment. If he could handle that part of you, hangs in there and stays interested, congrats, you've got yourself a keeper.
Many married couples will tell you that sex is often not so great at the beginning, because you still have so much to learn about each other. With intimacy, attentiveness to each other's needs, openness to learning and an emotional connection, your sex life will get better and better!
The past is a really great predictor of the future. Yes, sometimes people change, but more likely than not, they are tomorrow the way they were yesterday. So keep your eye out for signs of deceit: Did he cheat on his exes? Lie about his past? Come up with empty promises? Get a grip: You'd be better off without him.
When a guy genuinely loves you, it matters to him that you're happy. And it matters to him that you're sad. That's because he cares about how you feel. So what if he's not good with words? He could lend you his shoulder to cry on – not distance himself when you need him most.
Of course, nobody is perfect. Your guy will have his share of flaws. But the idea that you're going to be able to change your guy is, well, romantic but it's not gonna happen. Try as you might, some things just cannot be changed. So before you commit to him, ask youself if his quirks are seriously bugging the crap out of you. Be honest with yourself: If you can't imagine dealing with his annoying traits for the rest of your life, he's not the one. Period.
You know you've got a keeper if you love him for his amazing personality. Not his money or his looks. After all, isn't this what marriage vows are about: To love each other in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth? If you're not ready to utter these words and stick to them, then he's just not the one.
You Scored: 9/10
What your score means:
Congrats! You've found a real sweetheart whom you can trust, love and feel safe with. But you also realize that, alas, real life relationships aren't as simple as happily-ever-after fairy tales, and it takes lots of communication, trust, compromise and learning about each other to keep the love and passion going strong. Keep communicating, be encouraging and never take each other for granted. You look like you're made for each other – go for it!
It's wonderful to have found a soul mate, but just because you share the same likings and interests doesn't necessarily mean you will have the same strong passion for each other. In fact, happily married couples can have very different characters. What's more important is that you have to have real affection for each other, feel comfortable, be able to share your deepest thoughts and feel safe being in a relationship with your guy.
All couples will have disagreements at times. These tiffs actually present opportunities that allow us to address the different issues that concern us. But big, ugly fights are a different story: When you both do or say things that really hurt or scare you, it takes you a long time to recover. And that's bad for the relationship.
The truth is, most guys fib about little things. And a guy like that isn't necessarily worse off than a guy who's always compelled to tell the truth. Remember those times when you put on 10 pounds and asked him if you looked fatter? Let's face it, how would you have felt if he had replied yes instead of no? There's nothing wrong with small white lies, but if he lies often enough that you don't know whether to trust him or not, (for example he led you to believe that he's out for a drink with his guy friends and you found out that he's actually drinking with two female colleagues), your relationship is on seriously shaky ground. Cut him loose.
If it's just one girlfriend who has a negative opinion about him, you're probably right not to take her appraisal too seriously. But if your friends and family are warning you against your guy, then there has to be a grain of truth somewhere. Perhaps you are too smitten by his charms to see things objectively.
You are not seeing him for who he really is unless you've shown yourself for who you really are. And it's not just letting him see you wake up in the morning, sans makeup, hair poking this way and that. We're talking about him seeing you at your craziest, bitchiest moment. If he could handle that part of you, hangs in there and stays interested, congrats, you've got yourself a keeper.
Many married couples will tell you that sex is often not so great at the beginning, because you still have so much to learn about each other. With intimacy, attentiveness to each other's needs, openness to learning and an emotional connection, your sex life will get better and better!
The past is a really great predictor of the future. Yes, sometimes people change, but more likely than not, they are tomorrow the way they were yesterday. So keep your eye out for signs of deceit: Did he cheat on his exes? Lie about his past? Come up with empty promises? Get a grip: You'd be better off without him.
When a guy genuinely loves you, it matters to him that you're happy. And it matters to him that you're sad. That's because he cares about how you feel. So what if he's not good with words? He could lend you his shoulder to cry on – not distance himself when you need him most.
Of course, nobody is perfect. Your guy will have his share of flaws. But the idea that you're going to be able to change your guy is, well, romantic but it's not gonna happen. Try as you might, some things just cannot be changed. So before you commit to him, ask youself if his quirks are seriously bugging the crap out of you. Be honest with yourself: If you can't imagine dealing with his annoying traits for the rest of your life, he's not the one. Period.
You know you've got a keeper if you love him for his amazing personality. Not his money or his looks. After all, isn't this what marriage vows are about: To love each other in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth? If you're not ready to utter these words and stick to them, then he's just not the one.
You Scored: 9/10
What your score means:
Congrats! You've found a real sweetheart whom you can trust, love and feel safe with. But you also realize that, alas, real life relationships aren't as simple as happily-ever-after fairy tales, and it takes lots of communication, trust, compromise and learning about each other to keep the love and passion going strong. Keep communicating, be encouraging and never take each other for granted. You look like you're made for each other – go for it!
Two Weeks
I went to fetch Ce during lunch time. She haben taken her lunch yet lor at 1 plus.. oh my... my mum says she was waiting for me....awe... I brought her to Mac for lunch. We had two happy meals. I wanted the toys.. lolz.. but it's actually meant to occupy the little one. She was particular facinated by the tennis game. It's a mini wii!! u have to swing left right... not easy hor...
I wont be able to see the man probably for straight two weeks. Maybe he is able to come out for a few hrs before going back to work. His new batch came in and he has to stay in to work. But today he managed to get out for a few hrs for dinner wif me and Ce before going back.
I lugged his lappy and some of his stuffs to CCK to meet him for dinner. The taxi driver... haizzz i board the taxi from Toa Payoh at 6.48pm and I reached Choa Chu Kang, Lot 1 at 6.58pm exactly... OMG! Can imagine how fast this uncle drove. I almost puked. Luckily i get Ce to go sleep for awhile if not she would probably end up like me. we had our dinner at New York. Then to the Nokia shop to get the man's wireless M1 voda modem. After which we headed down to KFC to order chickens for the man's colleagues. 55 pcs of chicken parts. Yes 55. The manager looked at me wide-eye and ask me to repeat. ROFL! This was the first time I ordered so much chickens! kekeke!!!
I sent the man back to his work place before heading home. Ce KO all the way in the cab. As usual... i couldnt sleep again... I miss the man...
I wont be able to see the man probably for straight two weeks. Maybe he is able to come out for a few hrs before going back to work. His new batch came in and he has to stay in to work. But today he managed to get out for a few hrs for dinner wif me and Ce before going back.
I lugged his lappy and some of his stuffs to CCK to meet him for dinner. The taxi driver... haizzz i board the taxi from Toa Payoh at 6.48pm and I reached Choa Chu Kang, Lot 1 at 6.58pm exactly... OMG! Can imagine how fast this uncle drove. I almost puked. Luckily i get Ce to go sleep for awhile if not she would probably end up like me. we had our dinner at New York. Then to the Nokia shop to get the man's wireless M1 voda modem. After which we headed down to KFC to order chickens for the man's colleagues. 55 pcs of chicken parts. Yes 55. The manager looked at me wide-eye and ask me to repeat. ROFL! This was the first time I ordered so much chickens! kekeke!!!
I sent the man back to his work place before heading home. Ce KO all the way in the cab. As usual... i couldnt sleep again... I miss the man...
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Power House
It's been so long since I last went down to St James's Power House. I never had a liking for the music there. But last nite's music was quite alrite... I can still shake my hips to the music. Stel came over my place first while waiting for Ag to pick us up. We meet wif the rest outside SJ. There were 9 of us. Lolz... I couldnt get some of their names rite especially the guys keke... Most of us knew each other but we seldom meet up. All from WLNY except for 2 who were Ag's frds. They dun sound locally tho...
We didnt drink much only dance to our hearts' content. Burn off so much energy... until my caffs are so achy now. This is the first time me and Stel went dancing together... from her mega watts smiles.... she's having fun and laughter! Ag dubbed as the photographer... cant believe her... she keep taking photos of us until we were all putting our craziest and funniest faces.
As Stel has to be by 3am (a curfew that she set herself) , all of us left ard the same time if not I would have partied till wee hrs in the morning. (i'm such a party animal.) Ag took cab wif her as both on the same direction.. while me and Val supposed to be in one cab ended up in Bry's car. Bry offer to send us back... Bry says ladies are welcome in his car if cant squeezed in, he will just have to ask Jam to crawled back on his own. Hahaha! 5 of us managed to squeezed inside his car. I followed them for supper which was just behind my block, tabao some chicken wings chatted wif them before we all go off separately for the nite.
I find myself so old.. they all so young... ROFL! Luckily we still had the same lingo... so communication was still alrite. We are full of "rubbish"... crappy we made out of each other. The nite was good to have so much company ard. A break from daily routine. And most of all, without Stel's help, i couldnt have gone and enjoyed myself... Thks Stel! Even without this party, u r assured with the chop and stamp guaranteed friendship! Certain frds are for life... just like me and Ag... we have known each other since P4 / 5, we are always on a lookout for each other. She's just like a big sis. For Stel... she almost like a bestie now. We tok and crap abt anything.
Well in life how many can one find friends whom u can tok to and confide, ya.. I take pride of the friends I have and made. Not all can have the same lingo wif me. I treasure this friendship.
(Photos will be updated once Ag sent us.)
We didnt drink much only dance to our hearts' content. Burn off so much energy... until my caffs are so achy now. This is the first time me and Stel went dancing together... from her mega watts smiles.... she's having fun and laughter! Ag dubbed as the photographer... cant believe her... she keep taking photos of us until we were all putting our craziest and funniest faces.
As Stel has to be by 3am (a curfew that she set herself) , all of us left ard the same time if not I would have partied till wee hrs in the morning. (i'm such a party animal.) Ag took cab wif her as both on the same direction.. while me and Val supposed to be in one cab ended up in Bry's car. Bry offer to send us back... Bry says ladies are welcome in his car if cant squeezed in, he will just have to ask Jam to crawled back on his own. Hahaha! 5 of us managed to squeezed inside his car. I followed them for supper which was just behind my block, tabao some chicken wings chatted wif them before we all go off separately for the nite.
I find myself so old.. they all so young... ROFL! Luckily we still had the same lingo... so communication was still alrite. We are full of "rubbish"... crappy we made out of each other. The nite was good to have so much company ard. A break from daily routine. And most of all, without Stel's help, i couldnt have gone and enjoyed myself... Thks Stel! Even without this party, u r assured with the chop and stamp guaranteed friendship! Certain frds are for life... just like me and Ag... we have known each other since P4 / 5, we are always on a lookout for each other. She's just like a big sis. For Stel... she almost like a bestie now. We tok and crap abt anything.
Well in life how many can one find friends whom u can tok to and confide, ya.. I take pride of the friends I have and made. Not all can have the same lingo wif me. I treasure this friendship.
(Photos will be updated once Ag sent us.)
Thursday, January 8, 2009
ENV Lesson
I dread Thu lessons... our LKK lecturer cannot project his voice and he just went thru the slide by slide... textbook can throw one side... he's practically reciting almost exactly from the slides!! Wah piangz... his examples are so common, so demoralizing.... aiyooooooo i really freaked out at his lessons. I left during the break...
My Sleepy Buddy
I finally found it! 16 yrs ago.. i owned a smaller one but my dad threw it away when we moved house. That was his first teddy pressie to me when I was only 10 yrs old. Barely 4 yrs, he threw it cos it was so dirty but i still carry it to sleep that time.. he had to throw when i wasnt ard... lolz...
I search high and low for this Sleepy Carebear but always not the right size. Until during shopping for christmas pressies for my nieces and newphew at Taka, i come across this bear.. right size to hug to sleep and soft enough. I saw a lagi bigger one but that was too big although i wanted it as well. I reckoned i wont be able to lugged it home so i gave up the idea of getting that. I settled for this. The man wasnt ard that time so over the phone he told me to get it and claim from him. His christmas pressie to me hehe...
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
In the name of.....
I had officially signed the papers for the donation of my dad's documents to NAS. I named the archive under my dad's name. His two priceless documents dated all the way back to 1965. It was a certificate of registration as a Singapore citizen in 1965. The other one was itinerant hawker license in 1972. The NAS was interested in archiving of these two documents when I approached them. If they dun take it, i would have probably either throw it or even chucked it somewhere in the corner. It's not that I dun wan to keep but these are just papers and he is here forever in my heart.
Even up till now, each time i'm alone.... i think of him.. i miss him terribly. Tears will just swirl up in my eyes. Before he was gone, everyday i had chores to do... i had to run up his place a few times to make sure he's okie.. bring him his meals, make sure he took his medications, chat with him, watch him fall asleep. I was so busy with him last time. Now that things have changed.. i'm still trying to get used being by myself. I'm not very close wif my mum as we have been living apart for so long. I'm so used with my dad ard me or i'm ard with him...
4 months le... i havent heal myself from the loss of him. I wonder how long am I going to take. Tho I look so bubbly, lively at work and outside... when i'm home alone, it's so diff... it's really tough.. i dun wan be home alone... i always try to make myself dead tired and plonk off to bed... it doesnt work.
I was reminded of my dad today when i aboard the feeder bus. Two old men was trying to help each other to get on. Without second thots, I went over and lend my helping hand while the rest of the crowd just looked on even the bus driver was glued to his seat. I was a little tempted to tell the bus driver off. Anyway, I held the older elderly so that he doesnt fall back when lifting his leg up the steps. As the bus was quite crowded, i make sure that the old men had place to hold while i stand behind him in case the bus jerk, i can cushion his fall. Luckily one kind soul gave up her seat for this old man.
I was glad that i was there for my dad when he needed me most. To help him wif his daily 'activities' and stuffs. His one call will make me drop everything i had on hand and rush to him immediately. I really thk god that we only live two storeys apart. He just refused to move in wif me even he was critically ill and needed special care. I quitted my job and tend to him. For 4 months, life was like rolller-coaster that i can never forget... he didnt went alone... part of me went with him......
Even up till now, each time i'm alone.... i think of him.. i miss him terribly. Tears will just swirl up in my eyes. Before he was gone, everyday i had chores to do... i had to run up his place a few times to make sure he's okie.. bring him his meals, make sure he took his medications, chat with him, watch him fall asleep. I was so busy with him last time. Now that things have changed.. i'm still trying to get used being by myself. I'm not very close wif my mum as we have been living apart for so long. I'm so used with my dad ard me or i'm ard with him...
4 months le... i havent heal myself from the loss of him. I wonder how long am I going to take. Tho I look so bubbly, lively at work and outside... when i'm home alone, it's so diff... it's really tough.. i dun wan be home alone... i always try to make myself dead tired and plonk off to bed... it doesnt work.
I was reminded of my dad today when i aboard the feeder bus. Two old men was trying to help each other to get on. Without second thots, I went over and lend my helping hand while the rest of the crowd just looked on even the bus driver was glued to his seat. I was a little tempted to tell the bus driver off. Anyway, I held the older elderly so that he doesnt fall back when lifting his leg up the steps. As the bus was quite crowded, i make sure that the old men had place to hold while i stand behind him in case the bus jerk, i can cushion his fall. Luckily one kind soul gave up her seat for this old man.
I was glad that i was there for my dad when he needed me most. To help him wif his daily 'activities' and stuffs. His one call will make me drop everything i had on hand and rush to him immediately. I really thk god that we only live two storeys apart. He just refused to move in wif me even he was critically ill and needed special care. I quitted my job and tend to him. For 4 months, life was like rolller-coaster that i can never forget... he didnt went alone... part of me went with him......
My "bestie..."
Princess was kinda of petty lah.. sad to say. But Princess was really annoyed when "bestie" didnt turn up. Princess knew bestie had a reason... and also bcos Princess berated bestie one blardy wee morning. (Honestly.. Princess dunno wat she've said to bestie cos the next day, Princess didnt even know she called bestie until bestie sent her one sms which Princess dunno y bestie wrote that.) It was not Princess.. Princess oreadi said she have spilt personality...(this is not a joke okie...) this usually happens when this "Evil Princess" decided to show up out of the blue and spoiled everything. Haizzz... Princess also dunno wat to do now... her bestie was bullied, heart broken. Princess wanted to be there for her but... Princess has her pride, just refused to bow down and be initiative to take the first step.
Princess wanted to "break that blardy idiot's face who broke her bestie's heart"... just dun let Princess see that idiot anywhere near her... Princess will most likely to "pounce" on him... grrrrr.....
Princess wanted to "break that blardy idiot's face who broke her bestie's heart"... just dun let Princess see that idiot anywhere near her... Princess will most likely to "pounce" on him... grrrrr.....
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Clean Bill
Fri morning, the man accompanied me to the specialist clinic at CDC. I was given a good clean bill of 'health'. The doc says i'm definitely not having a dengue fever and it's only a viral fever. My body is 'strong' enough to fight it. No more tests is needed but i definitely need plenty of rest and water. Mc given to rest for another day. Finally I can get back to work on Mon.
But my sis was admitted to hospital on the same morning to operate on her slip-disc that had caused her so much pain. The operation was a successful one. The surgeon 'scrapped out' what was causing her pain. When my sis showed me.. I almost freaked.. it looks like raw P-O-R-K!!! Arghhh... I hope that she will recover real soon...
But my sis was admitted to hospital on the same morning to operate on her slip-disc that had caused her so much pain. The operation was a successful one. The surgeon 'scrapped out' what was causing her pain. When my sis showed me.. I almost freaked.. it looks like raw P-O-R-K!!! Arghhh... I hope that she will recover real soon...
Thursday, January 1, 2009
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