The 3 Cs...

Convince, Confuse, Concuss.... Unable to convince myself in the first place, let alone overcome what is needed. Knowing running away and seeking shelter from another is definitely not the solution but else than that, I dunno what to do. At least for now I'm quite clear about that.

Both are not what I'm looking for and what I'm looking at. It's kinda depress to hear from the horse's mouth that "i'm like this, I'm like that..." What if I say I wan it this way? The reply would probably be "too bad..."

This one whole week was quite a struggle within myself.... I dunno how to react, dunno how to act, dunno what to say. Disappointment is once again and again. How long is this going to continue unless I harden myself and turn down all. Shut myself once again from the hurt. I know I'm going take a freaking long time to be out in the open again.

Why men are often so selfish... wont you just change a little for the sake of your love one. I understand the saying "Accept for who I am..." but not even the slightest change? Then what's the point of me adhere to your lifestyle. That's not me either.

I LIVE THE WAY I WANT IT!

I'm pretty sure my final decision is gonna hurt not one, not two but 3 person in total... cos you are not the way I wan it unless you can convince me that why I should accept for the way you are...

No surprise, no romance, no gentleness, no self-auto ARE EQUAL to please get out of my life. I cant live w/o that to be honest.

TREAT ME LIKE A LADY AND NOT A NECESSITY!!! 

New Chapter of my Life

Am I going to start a new chapter of my life in time to come? The feeling is kind of peaceful, serenade and happy. I have never felt this way b4. But on the other hand, I know that it's never easy to maintain it. I'm afraid too! I will neverless still try my best to maintain it.

Thots of the day

As the night settles... I'm here by myself, some questions came to my mind. What can I promise him? What can I give him? Will the end result be favorable to both of us? The results we both wanted. I do not have the answer now.

What is so captivating about this person I'm toking abt. Yes, his gentleness melt me. He never admit directly nor told me straight in my face that he likes/love me, but being "force" to write so over messages. Comfortable is the word he used. But that's not an affirmation. Everyone ard me are so comfortable with me. Does that means they all love me? Yes... Love me as a buddy, a good friend. Does that apply to him also?

I need a heavy duty commited person. Is he the one? I do not know. I'm still analysing, searching for the answer. Or I shld put it this way... I'm still searching for that prince to "save" this princess...

The person I'm looking for may never exists... I do not want to be a selfish ass by having him with me yet I can't promise anything at all. The thot of "losing" him makes me feel heartache. As long he is happy, I'm happy.

"One day if you decide to leave or a nice gal came along, please tell me and dun MIA out of the blue. I will understand. Just dun leave without a word..."

Almost 16 months...

I have actually stopped blogging for 16 months. Nothing much have changed. I'm still the same old me... The only things that have changed was some of my perspective towards life and my job. To a new sector which I was really against going in. Well, I still went ahead for the new challenge and see how far I can survive in this fake world.

Time really flies fast... shall update more in time to come....

Good answer!

Tsk tsk...

As usual this morning, my dog whined and barked as Ce and I left the house. While in the lift, I asked Ce a question...

Me: Why can't Sam stop barking when we leave the house?

Ce: He's a dog.

This is good enough to shut me up immediately and at the same time I was amused by her answer. She got my thinking cap on. It's such a simple answer and on other hand I have to think so deep. I feel as tho I'm asking a stupid /silly question.

Well, children are just so clean, clear cut and direct with their answers. There's no beat around the bush issues or the need to even think deep into why you asking me such a questions. It really beats better to be a kid rather than an adult. How I wished the time would just stop there and let me have all the laughs I want.

Ce's answers to my questions always left me amused, rofl and more stomach ranching giggles. Let me give another one. A few weeks ago, I asked her what shall we have for dinner and so on. I also called the man and asked what he would like.

Me: Daddy says kfc for dinner, ok?
Ce: No, tell daddy say mei mei (妹妹) say no.
Me: Like that also can ah?
Ce: Of course! (smiles happily to herself)

I burst out laughing in the midst of the crowd. That's a 6 yr old kid's reply. ROFL!!

Ewe ~ trembling wheezing

It really suxs when my lungs decided to go on strike these few days. From mild sniffs to the maxi sniffs. I was literally deprived of O2 and beauty sleep!! My fish brains can't work well. Not at this time manz... it's gonna affect my work and play time with my kids.

Officially declared by doc that I have "full blown" symptoms of asthma. That includes ectopic eczema. Every now and then certain area of my body will popped up with pin-heads like prick and the itch is there. The patch will be like burning hot. Sometimes I wonder if the patches causes my body temp to raise like nobody business.

Now the purple pump is being left isolated somewhere in the bag. I have to ensure that the blue one is always with me. It really gets on my nerve system when it attacks. At times, I can't even differentiate whether am I wheezing or was it my anxiety or both.. ~.~"

Budget = No budget = low birth rate

Budget is what? And the productivity is refering to what exactly? With the kind of working hours Singaporeans work, any kind of productivity levels will drop. To be honest, I everyday on budget. This budget will not help much. Most of the help is not from gov but from voluntary welfares and centres if you agree.

The way i looked at budget is probably meant for the rich to become richer and the poor to become poorer. Ever since budget started, i dun see average human beings more smarter, richer or even fend enough for themselves. They just got worst than ever. Not to mention abt the cost of living.

Make babies, you look at those ppl serving or regulars in army, u think they have time for making babies? Everyday on the ball for 12 hours, by the time they are home is to catch up on their sleep, not families nor anything else. With more women in the working force, they are more stress to task themselves to finish their work rather than make babies. Most will rather have more money to secure themselves in this kind of economic downturn rather than spend money on birth and taking care of kids.

Education, in order to have a better salary, one has to constantly upgrade themselves. After work, go for class, by the time they are home is time for bed and prepare for the next morning to work. So tell me how to have higher birth rate and the so call pro family creations...

Dun tell me it's a matter of time management. How much time do we have a day? 3/4 of the time we have sacrifice for work and the rest of the time to rest in order not to fall sick. Cos sick is also another cost of living that is a killing factor.

With more FW vying for jobs in SG and with their salary expectation so low, it will only pull Singaporeans' salary even lower. Dun forget the exchange rate. When they exchange our currencies to theirs, they can be rich enough to build their own homes. We are still struggling just to feed ourselves and our families, let alone say a home.

My conclusion of being a human is equal to nothing but liability of cost and burden. Unless u can strike toto/ big sweep first prize every now and then. But chances and likelyhood of that is probably zero. So why do i bother myself with the budget and everything? Take it easy lah... it's all their says anyway. Wait we say more kena pants drop then jia lat... best is to just shut up. Cos so far i hasnt heard or seen anything that a commoner says will affect the whole budget nor any changes will occurred. Bleh...