What's going on?

This blur princess here doesn't know what's going's on. He always mentioned events that are almost past over. I want to attend but he assumes that I don't want. He's scared of the nagging session but that does not mean i am too. I wants to make things work but he think otherwise cos he has nothing to tok (not to me but others). He didnt even bother to set the records right in the first place.

Everything is all about him lately. I'm no longer in the picture. Or was I too sensitive. I would rather they tell me or him that they dun like me, or just want me out of the picture. (我现在是一头“误”水了。) He's most willingly to be casted out together with me, but that's not what I want. Some people cannot accept who am I or my status but he's different, he belongs to the family. No matter what he does, what he had done, he still belongs there. I just feel wierd like an odd ball... no matter how hard I want to try, he blocks me.

Perhaps something was said but he do not wished to tell me fearing that will hurt me. Or was it something else that I didnt know. I may not be good at expressing myself in front of people I dunno too well but i'm willing to try.

It's so hard to have a normal family. There's so much things I want to say but so hard to put in words. Scared of rejection.

I missed my Dad dearly, Dad's the only one standing, supporting and assuring me when i'm down and out but now Dad's gone. I have to learn to stand on my own. Honestly, I just can't accept the fact Dad's gone. It's been a year and yes, I've yet to overcome my grief. Each time I think of Dad, my tears dropped. Each time I mentioned abt my Dad, my voice will just turn chocky..

I dun understand y ppl have a family and they just dun treasure. If only I can do more... if only i was informed of any events in the first place... guess i wasnt treated part of them anymore...