I have been struggling lately. Struggling wif decisions on home, work and study. Tho it's a good thing to be so busy that it does take off my mind a few things. However, it reaches a point that gets me all frustrated.
At times I'm so tired that I wished I could just drop dead and die like that but I know I can't. I have two other mouth to feed. I know whatever decision I make, he will only respect. I dun dare to ask for his opinion anymore cos I know whatever he said is not be helping at all especially after wat happened yesterday. Some things I'm not good at puting it down but still I have to come to terms with it. I keep telling and "psychoing" myself that these are my own sets of issues / problems not others. Only I can help myself and no one else can. After my dip, I dun think I would want to go for degree tho I would love to.. but then again, I have no other help. Who's gonna tend to the kids while i'm in class? I can't possibly ask my friends for help. They also have their own families to take care.
While he do help at times but limited. I understand his job scope is more tedious than mine. Most of the time he's either at work or sleeping... how do I entrust things to him? Things just dun worked when we tok abt the issues and stuffs. He just won't believe it and in the end i was the one bearing the brut. It was not his fault tho... but I have oreadi highlighted long long ago... he keep saying it will worked out.. but it didnt.... “他说会帮我但有些还是没对线。” As much as he tried but it was his job that tied him down which i have predicted as much initially. Y he just won't believe me.
At times I envy those who have families helping them. My case is all abt time management but even tho i can arrange my time, my main concern is who gonna tend to the kids if I'm away... They are still too young to be left at home by themselves. The choice is upgrade when i'm in my forties... bleah...
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